brebeaumont

the most interesting thing about this book was something that i immediately noticed: the point of view it's told from. sometimes i want to read a book about a boy without having to read the book from the boy's perspective. i want to see their world from the outside it, not always the inside out. this book delivered that to me flawlessly. our main character, mike, is a fairly normal, albeit generic boy, who starts out hearing a voice inside of his head every now and again, something that tells him not to trust his friends and starts to quickly create a divide between him and the rest of the world.

that voice belongs to an eating disorder. more specifically, it belongs to his eating disorder.

seeing as he's a young man, anorexia isn't something that i personally would have expected mike to struggle with. this book brought it to my attention that although we talk about women's battles with societal expectations and eating disorders, we rarely acknowledge that boys have to cope with that too. i'm ashamed to admit that i hadn't necessarily thought of that prior to reading this book, but after i finished this, i felt... enlightened. i felt like i saw things in a totally different way now. not only did i realize that men struggled with eating disorders too, i learned a lot about the inner workings of eating disorders, and how the people afflicted with them think and feel.

i thought it was beautiful that mike's mental illness was almost a sentient being of its own, a voice separate from his own that pushed and pulled and argued with him. although i have no experience with eating disorders, the way his illness was portrayed reminded me very much of my own mental health struggles, past and present. sometimes it feels like you aren't in control of your own actions, like something or someone else is telling you what to say and do, how to think and feel.

the battle portrayed in this book was meaningful and beautiful. although the ending was maybe not as uplifting as i would've liked (since i'm obnoxiously accustomed to the pretty little bow that ties everything together perfectly of chicklit,) it was incredibly realistic. this whole book was incredibly realistic; it was poignant and... important. i can't think of much else to say about this book. it was unique, interesting, and heavy in the best way possible. it left me feeling incredibly understanding of things that i've never experienced, and i would recommend it to anyone who wants to expand their minds or learn more about the inner-workings of those who struggle with eating disorders.